Baloney!

I get tired each day of eating food just right
I get tired of my fiber count every night
I get tired of making sure the vitamins are there
And I sure get tired of my physician’s frowny stares

It’s impossible to eat just one baloney slice
It’s impossible as teaching lions to be nice
It’s impossible for boys not liking baloney pies
Thick chewy slices like my momma buys

There oughta be a committee, a baloney lobby
We could introduce a bill for kosher salami
There oughta be a law about baloney for cheap
Someone could invent a way to eat it in our sleep

So, I’ll have baloney for breakfast, Baloney for brunch
Baloney for my snacks and baloney for lunch
I’ll have baloney--any time that I feel
I’ll have baloney right now, baloney for every meal!