If It Needs Lemon Juice

Taking Doug to dinner is a fun process
He shows up once a month around noon
We have to tell his buddy that we meet at ten
He’s always late for lunch and Sunday School
And the truth of what I say is pure
Jess will hold up the Rapture for sure

For Doug It’s steak and taters fresh off the grill
No seafood for this landlocked guy
He turns down every offer for some crawfish still
And he sits there and just rolls his eyes
Short ribs, long ribs some tea and toast
He passes every shrimp in sight
If it’s lemon juice you need to hide the taste
You better cook some cow tonight

And it’s very plain to see,
If it needs lemon juice it’s nasty

No fish is ordered up on his plate Outback
No salmon eyes will stare back at him
He never eats telapia or yellowjack
And octopus is just another sin
And it’s very plain to see
If it needs lemon juice it’s nasty

This man doesn’t eat squid or lobster legs
He always orders beef cooked real well
Predictable as sunshine, arrow straight he is
His food never has a tale to tell
And it’s very plain to see
If it needs lemon juice it’s nasty